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Well, since we know you can't catch fish you might as well take up hunting,, first off forget all the non-sence about wearing blaze orange, the deer will see ya, next get ya a big ol set of horns and duck tape them to your head and crawl around on your hands and knees, it lures the big bucks in oh yea I almost most forgot, make sure there are lots of other deer hunters around so they spook the deer to ya. Ya also need to get ya some deer in heat sent and splash it on real good , kind of like after shave it will help ya to make lots of new friends mainly when ya get in the truck and turn the heat up way high.
If ya still need some help come on by and I will loan ya my deer cape so you can wear it with your deer horns, that draws them in real close.
Now the most important thing is to go to the biggest open game land on opening day and start doing your deer thing right at the crack of dawn when the light is best and the other hunters aren't ready to shoot anything.
PS. Before starting all this make sure to put me in your will to get all your fishing gear.
PSS. Give me a call tomorrow and I will hook ya up and try and help ya not get shot.
If ya still need some help come on by and I will loan ya my deer cape so you can wear it with your deer horns, that draws them in real close.
Now the most important thing is to go to the biggest open game land on opening day and start doing your deer thing right at the crack of dawn when the light is best and the other hunters aren't ready to shoot anything.
PS. Before starting all this make sure to put me in your will to get all your fishing gear.
PSS. Give me a call tomorrow and I will hook ya up and try and help ya not get shot.
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8,390 Posts
'bout wet my pants from laughter....Well, since we know you can't catch fish you might as well take up hunting,, first off forget all the non-sence about wearing blaze orange, the deer will see ya, next get ya a big ol set of horns and duck tape them to your head and crawl around on your hands and knees, it lures the big bucks in oh yea I almost most forgot, make sure there are lots of other deer hunters around so they spook the deer to ya. Ya also need to get ya some deer in heat sent and splash it on real good , kind of like after shave it will help ya to make lots of new friends mainly when ya get in the truck and turn the heat up way high.
If ya still need some help come on by and I will loan ya my deer cape so you can wear it with your deer horns, that draws them in real close.
Now the most important thing is to go to the biggest open game land on opening day and start doing your deer thing right at the crack of dawn when the light is best and the other hunters aren't ready to shoot anything.
PS. Before starting all this make sure to put me in your will to get all your fishing gear.
PSS. Give me a call tomorrow and I will hook ya up and try and help ya not get shot.
gonna have to change his screen name to Jeff Foxworthy.
NJ...I'm not a hunter but I stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last nite, but lemme tell ya what ya do...
get yer anchor rod and reel, put a a BIG 'ole 2x strong hook on, put a cob of corn on, cast out in the middle of the feild, put yer rod in a spike, set the drag and get drunk in a tree stand. When yer too drunk...fall out the tree stand, break yer arm...pack all your tackle up, come by the house and I'll hook ya up with some deer loins from the freezer.
Whatcha think? ya beeg dummy. Guns don't kill people, guns in your hands kill people...stay with fishing...no firearms or gun powder is involved...unless yer yelling and cussin at 50 year old surfers at the LIP.
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Follow real close behind them with a milk jug and a funnel,when the squat have them sit on the funnel,they wont mind.
Hey Jeff, my family has some land in Suffolk and Isle of Wight so let em know if your still interested come next season. My dad shot 4 this year I believe and one 8pntr and my brother put some on the ground too I just don't know how many. They still hunt only but other clubs dogs are always passing through. I'm usaully fishing but I'll be out there next year cuz they put a hurtin on em this year. I'll be making deer jerky till June. lol
Ben
Ben
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3,417 Posts
Hilarious replies. 'Bout made me pi$$ myself, too. Great stuff, guys.Hey Jeff, to answer your questions:
(1) very carefully
(2) no gloves (takes away from the moment, I'm told) - need warm hands, too
Well do you wanna bow or gun hunt? I could be here for days talkin about deer huntin, love it almost as much as catchin Drum. Basically its the same, you get what you pay for with equipment and you have to put in alot of time waiting for just the right bite(or buck). Scouting, hanging stands, lookin at maps, its alot of work.
Actually right now is the best time to scout since you can see what the woods look like without leaves, and you dont have to worry about spooking anything, since the season dosnt come back in until October.
Get my mount back from this past season next week!!
Actually right now is the best time to scout since you can see what the woods look like without leaves, and you dont have to worry about spooking anything, since the season dosnt come back in until October.
Get my mount back from this past season next week!!
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