Well, since we know you can't catch fish you might as well take up hunting,, first off forget all the non-sence about wearing blaze orange, the deer will see ya, next get ya a big ol set of horns and duck tape them to your head and crawl around on your hands and knees, it lures the big bucks in oh yea I almost most forgot, make sure there are lots of other deer hunters around so they spook the deer to ya. Ya also need to get ya some deer in heat sent and splash it on real good , kind of like after shave it will help ya to make lots of new friends mainly when ya get in the truck and turn the heat up way high.
If ya still need some help come on by and I will loan ya my deer cape so you can wear it with your deer horns, that draws them in real close.
Now the most important thing is to go to the biggest open game land on opening day and start doing your deer thing right at the crack of dawn when the light is best and the other hunters aren't ready to shoot anything.
PS. Before starting all this make sure to put me in your will to get all your fishing gear.
PSS. Give me a call tomorrow and I will hook ya up and try and help ya not get shot.